yy

2011-03-06T23:58:00.002+08:00

i'm back to this forsaken blog.
back to say i'm back to school, back at serangoon.
back to see familiar faces but not so familiar people.
i know people change, in fact i expect them to; it's part of growing up.
i hope they grow for the better, but all i see is greater selfishness.
n the scary part, selfishness spreads (thank god not yet).

oh well, this is the real world, steph.
n there's more to come.
aye, shave botak n go temple better.

2010-12-20T13:45:00.000+08:00

"i was wondering if you could move out for a week"

2010-11-22T02:07:00.000+08:00

i hope you will smile
like a silly child.
may there be not sadness
with my endless blesses.

far as you may be
distance ain't like how you see.
cuz you are very near
to a heart i know so clear.

future may seem vague
but this friendship i'll never let it break.
uncertainty in both of us i see
i pray hard for something better to precede.

this poem sounds so bad
but the poet is still trying to make her reader glad.
so smile silly
before i bite u like crazy.

2010-11-16T15:59:00.001+08:00

disappointed to know she din't even know i'm having holidays.
disappointed to know she thinks i'm stupid enough to believe that medisave n cpf r the same account.
seriously..

2010-11-07T22:01:00.001+08:00

4kg from exams :( time to shed them all

2010-11-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

what's real what's not,
wana let it flow but it cld possibly mean the same ending.

2010-11-01T08:58:00.003+08:00

how about a dance, from morning to night n till we never c daylight.
how about a fool, watching history replays itself.

not this time.

2010-10-28T11:03:00.004+08:00

kick it like a ball, watch it rolls
tumbling tumbling tumbling down the hill.
kick it a second time, back to the top of the hill.
it may burst, but it doesn't matter;
it's just a ball.

梁文音's music on replay

"我不是生气只是心痛"

2010-10-13T12:46:00.001+08:00

:) when you know all will be over soon

2010-10-06T19:58:00.003+08:00

It's one of those day where I wish that I'm at somewhere else instead.
Hey genie, make me disappear.
Come to think of it, it's redundant.

2010-10-05T01:06:00.001+08:00

more often than not, presence acknowledged after it's gone.

2010-10-03T02:59:00.002+08:00

don't yearn too much, for it'll break the heart.
model the tortoise; slow and easy.

jaded

2010-09-29T23:51:00.002+08:00

mentally drained
i need fuel for the brain
all i feel like doing is rot
rot and rot no more
i'm getting out of this cave
it's making me too lazy

2010-09-28T14:02:00.001+08:00

reason is simple. ain't confident, so enjoy the fun.

2010-09-22T08:32:00.003+08:00

Nothing is unfair in the game called LOVE.
There isn't anything to miss when it didn't really exist in the first place.

love the rap

2010-09-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

stay focused

2010-09-18T16:03:00.002+08:00

awesome :)
my first HD for written report.
praying real hard that the 2nd assignment won't destroy my HD dream.

nothing is impossible,
impossible is nothing;
you just have to work hard for it.

2010-09-18T00:36:00.003+08:00

cavewoman aint my life.
it makes me go from :D to :) to :/ to :( .
maybe i should chill abit,
since it's 3 papers this sem.
time to get out of the cave bfore my social life is destructed.

self-doubt freaks me out.

2010-09-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

done with major proj and it's awesome :)
it feels good knowing that maximum effort was put into it.
tried our best, whatever is the result, no regrets.
this is the way it should be,
and how i wished i could do the same for other aspects..

com lab's ms word crashed on me;
'ctrl s' did not save me cuz thumbdrive died on me.
trusty technology, thanks :(

2010-09-12T08:34:00.001+08:00

i know what you're trying to do,
but i don't think it'll work.
time-space compression rubbish;
it's still too long too far.

funny to see how it always turn out wrong.

2010-09-08T20:25:00.003+08:00

very upset, but it's too late.
all i can do is pray.
50% efforts in 40% coursework,
god bless.
waiting and depending on others is just too risky.

need to be less selfish and more forgiving.

this is so depressing, 40% :(

not here listening me grumble :( x2

let me ramble

2010-09-06T15:02:00.007+08:00

i was told that sometimes it's better to be left without choices than having to choose. in relation to the many wrong choices i'd made, i agree. i've more than enough time to make the right one now; no excuses.

workload gets heavier each day :( assignments are near completion, and i wish i can end off here without a but, BUT revision lectures starting in 2 days time. this sem is madness, which i know will get worst as i proceed to my final year, next year. breathe, better stop thinking too far ahead and take things one at a time.

some say i should be more sensitive; others say what for tire yourself trying to satisfy everybody. i say i just need to find the right balance.

to sidetrack a little,
subway cookies rock.

2010-09-04T17:47:00.002+08:00

nothing will be right if i don't ditch the idea that they only see me as a tool to build on their ego. it was 2009, it's 2010, gonna be 2011 soon. they say risk averse people prefers marketing to finance. true indeed. what if i fall again?

how true is true; how fake is fake?

2010-09-03T01:23:00.003+08:00

shall see how true those words stand,
keeping in mind that words are free.

then again,
it could be fake.
it's not like reading a book;
can't understand within a week.

the same reason i told myself.
the same phrase repeated in my head.
"whatever happened.. .. stays.."

how you fell, don't fall the same way

2010-09-02T14:03:00.003+08:00

dangerous gem, you can't tie a ram.
heart of steel, you need to remain still.

think of priorities.
think of all nightmares, crazy nonsense and shit it will bring.

so many days to count.
no, my brain won't count.
avoid, dodge, hide, run.

heave a sigh of relief;
at least you have to leave.
no problems till then,
prolly everything will be back to zero and i'll hv nth to think.

i hate hangover

2010-08-31T21:27:00.001+08:00

remember how you fell that day, don't fall that way again.

2010-08-29T23:32:00.001+08:00

finally down

2010-08-27T23:44:00.003+08:00

body feels hot, thought that my metabolism rate went skyrocket high.
was happy for a moment thinking more calories burnt.
aye. guess it's time to rest.

friday night.
after step up 3 movie.
all the boom boom boom.
sleep early.
nice :(

2010-08-26T01:00:00.002+08:00

it's not about pretending how strong you are.
more like changing your perspective on those damn things that had happened.
okok so bright side,
at least i have more free time to focus on something new.
god i hope it'll be of a much greater success than that.

:(

2010-08-25T19:49:00.003+08:00

i could have explained, but i did not.
"often you see what you've decided to see".
so i guess this is goodbye without a goodbye said.

who to blame

2010-08-22T16:41:00.004+08:00

the lamb knew it was a fox den but it still went in.
stuck for so long, tried many ways to exit, suffered much, only help was pied piper playing his pipe outside.
finally, bruised and all, it came out.

blame the den for being there?
or blame for its stupidity?

neither.
don't bother to blame.
learn and move on.

once in a while there will be passing remarks reminding how stupid the lamb was.
dear lamb, take things in stride.
being stupid once is enough.
Darwinism.

what is this

2010-08-22T12:09:00.004+08:00

I was doing a survey on bilingual for my friend in linguistic.

bilingual indeed.
so much for telling my kids not to take studying as a form of duty.
i think they will laugh at this ridiculous standard.
i was even thinking of being an expatriate in China after I grad.
now i'm wondering why i'm studying.
another 5 years down the road i'll probably forget what i've learnt :(

2010-08-17T02:09:00.004+08:00

reading on body image,
what a good topic my group chose.

they made my day today!

it went like this..
oh
oh
teacher!
can i ask?
how tall are you?

165, why?

ohh ohh!
then how how heavy are you?

XX, why?

cuz cuz you look so..
what's that word,
what's that word ah?
uh thin!

(and the other girl) slim lah you stupid!

wahahahah!
okay, in short..
most of the time we are judging ourselves,
and i'm on cloud nine :D

dumb and dumberer

2010-08-13T00:47:00.004+08:00

still here haunting me.
made no sense,
made me do the craziest things.
should have used that courage on something more worthy.

i love to argue, but i hate argumentative essays.

2010-08-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

sleep seems to be a waste of life,
but i think i need it.

not breathing

2010-08-06T22:05:00.001+08:00

can't find it
rahhhhh

2010-08-04T22:17:00.001+08:00

out of control
corrode
c'mon mind over body

2010-08-03T20:15:00.001+08:00

insomnia

2010-08-02T02:35:00.001+08:00

i love late night after rain jogs :)
good motivation & ideas,
NICE.

little bro

2010-07-30T20:36:00.005+08:00

deadlines to meet and tuition to teach, i love it when my life is busy.

every tuesdays and fridays i look forward much.
my new found joy :)
"would you like more homework?"
"YES!!"
cheeky little fellow brightens up my day.

finally a little more meaning to this life.
thank you.

hiatus

2010-07-15T01:16:00.003+08:00

i may be super busy,
but give me a few missed calls and i'll know the urgency.
then, i'll be right there like a genie.
for now, i assume all is well and i'm not needed.

so adios! back to my boring but important tasks :(

5 more :(

2010-07-03T01:33:00.002+08:00

when stomach says enough but mouth wants more; disaster.
inside out, upside down.

dear mind please stop wondering, i don't want to lose another 395.

somehow, i miss school.

forget all bad memories

2010-06-20T12:55:00.003+08:00

it's been a week, time to face the truth.
oh face it no matter how devastating it is.
i'm back in SINGAPORE, i'm broke, i'm weighing 5x kg!

anyway anyway,
i've uploaded the pictures on fb.
guess it somewhat tells a large part of the story,
but.. but.. it doesn't show the whole story.
this is where this blog, which I don't know who my readers are, comes into good use :)

i argued with my mum x number of times.
every time i wana get something for a friend she'll go "are you sure?".
oh god damn it, 50% of the cash was mine but 100% of the time i don't feel it.

whenever my bro wasn't traveling with us, i had to navigate.
i'm a map idiot which seems to piss both of us off.
her distrust, doubts and 101 bombarding questions drove me nuts.
i was so jaded trying to find the way.

and so.. all the bad memories accumulates.
until.. until at the end of the day,
sometimes at the bar, mostly in our room.
chips and beers, and all forgotten.
chats mostly on how awesome or loser the destination is.

a picture may speak a thousand words,
but.. but.. my camera only clicks on happy moments.

at least when i reminisce, it'll all be about how lovely this trip was,
and how 70% of the fats went to my face.

i'm not going back to school with all these with me

7 more to go / goal

2010-06-17T12:40:00.003+08:00

looking at you tiao, egg tarts and chocs but not eating them,
that feeling sucks :(
ohwell.. at least i'd my tao huay chum chuay without sugar.
serve you right steph, for eating so much for the past month.

met my girls last night.
AWESOME, full attendance :D

i'm dead tired.
press on!

i'm back

2010-06-14T00:07:00.003+08:00

27 days in Europe,
a long and expensive holiday!
ain't perfect, but definitely an experience of a lifetime.

3.5 weeks, 24/7 spent with mum.
both of us are short tempered, BAD.
a miracle that we enjoyed :)

i think nobody's interested in details.
in short, i had fun, i enjoyed and learned and it was awesome!

no hot german dude,
italian casanova better :D

pictures speak a thousand words,
i've 2700 photos!
think i'll upload a few hundred on fb..

oh. i lost something (yarr again..).
haha my favourite underwear was left behind in Barcelona room 403!
ah damn it.

no $$ no talk.
it's time to shut up.

goodbye

2010-05-16T20:00:00.000+08:00

here's my one last piece of rubbish before i fly..

i believe my love luck is improving,
losing $$ much.
maybe i'll be back with a hot german dude,
one that knows how to play MJ :)

goodbye,
i'll be back in 3.5 weeks time.
till then,
take care my dear friends.

listen to this

2010-05-15T15:45:00.004+08:00

simple music,
plain and raw yet beautiful.
just like certain things in life,
look at it as just it,
don't read too deep, think too much and complicate it;
don't be delusional.

every time i see you i wished i could tell you,
many asked me to,
but no cuz i think it'd break you.

nothing more than a tool to build on your freaking ego.
crystal clear now.
i'm damn sure anyone can be better.

eat this

2010-05-15T03:56:00.007+08:00

my favourite dim sum stall,
126 at geylang between lor 15 and 17.
faces a stretch of brightly lit durian stalls.
walking distance from aljunied mrt.
best part is they open 24/7,
a good supper place after..
mahjong.

ha gao, siew mai & wanton
with their special sweet chilli sauce :)

and not forgetting durian as dessert.
i heard durian season coming soon!
NICE

no jobs during holidays,
really boring :(
it's like sleeping through the days looking forward to this sunday only.
yes this sunday!
long awaited.

watch this

2010-05-14T18:10:00.004+08:00

watch this :)
backup plan.
personally think it's better than iron man 2 and ip man 2.
feel that the story is easier to follow and relate to.
love watching such shows,
funny, pace just right, very relaxing.

Zoe thought she'll never find the right guy and went for artificial insemination. Who knows, she really found the one, but she's pregnant already. So things became complicated and stuff. Like every love story, it's a little off reality. But some parts are really meaningful.

"only when you put away distrust.."

dim sum & mahjong combo;
good life :)

the package

2010-05-13T22:55:00.003+08:00

let's face the fact.
everyone is attracted by good looks,
no doubt.
you are good looking,
i'll steal additional glances.
then, that's it.
probably, when you open your mouth, i'll just turn away.

beauty catches the eyes, but personality catches the heart.
and communication, the foundation to everything.

block

2010-05-12T10:42:00.003+08:00

i'd rather work than slack at home
why no really short period jobs :(

tuesday, post mother's day celebration

lunch at great world's pump room,
food :)
cute ang mo chef.

scrutinized at every detail in 'lie to me',
and I think I want to watch it again.

2010-05-10T00:28:00.008+08:00

i bet there's a million posts on mother's day,
and so, here's mine.

favourite jap restaurant at great world city

with a sexy hot babe whom almost everyone claims is my sister.
i hope they were saying it out of courtesy, just like when my bro's friend called me da jie
yes, i mind alot :(

over the years, tolerating my temper and giving me the best.
mothers are the most noble people on earth, AGREE.

CLEARANCE
goodbye dust collectors,
some of which held great memories.

Mac's hello kitties, hot stuff in 2001.

goodbye past.

a little more spacious and clean :)

OT again

2010-05-09T12:49:00.004+08:00

and so, the three perspectives.

I'll be nice to you
Modern - only if you're my friend
Symbolic interpretive - only if you're nice to me
Postmodern - and everyone else too

I love you
M - if you fit this list
S - so long you make my heart flutter and fit the more important things in the list
PM - there's no list, and if I ain't got you..

Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You (Official Music Video) - Watch more top selected videos about: Alicia_Keys

"If I Ain't Got You"

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

If I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

i love her old pieces.

love luck's inverse relationship with gamble luck,
PROVEN.
when you are the only "in a relationship" on the table, gg
nahh just an exploratory research :D

schoolwork infested my brain

holiday; when wkdays/ends don't matter

2010-05-08T14:56:00.008+08:00

The weather is getting weird indeed. Just a moment ago it was blazing hot, giving me a real good reason to laze the day off. Then, sudden lightning and thunder, making wide awake now! :(

When I was little, lightning and thunder used to freak me out. I remember there was once when my mum was cooking and me sleeping, then all of the sudden this huge strike came. Somehow, my wails lagged a bit and my mum thought I was fine and didn't check on me. That moment of loneliness, staring at the window feeling lost, I can still feel it. Feels like only yesterday and I really wish it was. Then I would be five, mini me with parents to shelter all blows of life. I would be, so to speak, living a worry-free life.

Holiday mood settling in :) A bowl of koko crunch and my series of lie to me sufficiently satisfy my lazy day. Not only that, the awesome holiday that is coming is driving huge fantasies. Hohoho.. it's really can't wait, CAN'T WAIT kind of excitement that is overwhelming me.

The little pleasures in life. Just this late morning, I was feeling jealous of the homecook smells cuz it was great but.. from next door! Then, no more, grateful that Debbie invited me for dinner :D

Still yet to catch IP MAN :( Donnie Yen is charming and I really want to catch him on huge screen!

new law: NO ASSAULT ON BUS CAPTAIN

of all randomness

inflitrate

2010-05-06T22:15:00.003+08:00

it's really good to leave SG for awhile.
city square, just across the custom,
where eating, singing and shopping is so much more affordable :)
there's cinema too!
i want to go back there again, like next week?

i can't help but wonder.
love as tangibles;
will love be overtaken by money and credentials one day?
the blush and that tinkling sensation of happiness when he's near classified only as hormonal fluctuation?
people becoming more realistic.
profiling instead of feelings,
what's true love?
does it still exist?

never fail to infiltrate my mind

short-lived

2010-05-04T21:37:00.004+08:00

the recent TP student's suicide made me reflect much. life, death, love and all. it's so sad, 18 years old. maybe life became too harsh all of the sudden.. but for a guy, a broken relationship, it doesn't seem right.

once in a while i would scroll all the way back, to find the pic i love yet hate. thought that i had it but everything was nothing but surreal. it never fails to make me reflect on how people loves to act strong, or rather, me. strong as we seem to be, it's nothing more than a cover up for our weaknesses. sometimes we are such good actors that we became immune to how we feel. happiness seems superficial, when such feelings leave, the true emptiness and pain behind invade. then again, pain seems superficial. it seems to arrive only when one is left unoccupied.

i see life as a graph of quadratic properties. peak brings laughter but they are short-lived and the next moment you are at trough where sadness seems to overwhelm you. then, you find yourself blinded, forgetting about the better things in life. people who are strong enough manage to survive. sadly, those who do not, selfishly quit, leaving those who love them to suffer indefinite pain.

they forgot, after trough, peak returns, at least that's what my maths teacher used to teach.

treasure life please

2010-05-01T14:40:00.002+08:00

young pretty talented,
traits many are jealous of.
bluffed by her smiles,
people who thinks she was happy,
now confounded by her suicide.
that mask, she played it well.

http://www.melonxz.blogspot.com/
cache of her blog.

only a stranger yet such overwhelming emotions.

i should spend more time caring for my friends,
you should too.

finally a little break time

2010-04-30T01:35:00.003+08:00

one final paper on 4th,
a little time to relax,
before i turn into a full-time panda :(

I screwed ER real bad,
assignment as well.
just don't wish to da bao.

looking forward to holidays,
coming soon.

no spare energy

2010-04-17T01:18:00.005+08:00

now and then we would want people whom we love to shower some attention.
it's perfectly normal, really.
but, overdoing it will suffocate him/her.
and it's a huge turn off especially when he / she is totally drained.

exams in 9 days time,
crucial period.
productivity seems to increase,
but it can be better.

the urge to do away fb, msn and sms.

i'll be back on 4th May if nothing major happens

have you ever

2010-04-16T02:10:00.003+08:00

have you ever feel this way before,
holding so much feelings for someone,
but reluctantly have to find every possible way to detach from it,
because you know getting together would just mean deeper sadness.

feelings vs personality match,
I think the latter holds a stronger position.

okay, need to stop pondering about such stuff.
a larger task at hand.

21 loves

2010-04-15T17:32:00.007+08:00

this birthday,
the greatest ever.
this birthday girl,
crazily happiest ever.

time constraint,
shall cut short and stop being a naggy woman.

7 hours artpiece,
thank you dearest wen,
backaches and all.

since holy days,
DHGJ loves,
people who made me grow.
their patience and altruistic personality taught me how to control my awfully bad temper and treat people nicely.

and they left a space for my poly mates to write their well wishes.
seriously awesome! especially when they don't know them even.
last night, their first met.
huge joy to watch them getting along so well.
unexplainable happiness to see them camwhore together.
best friends loving best friends,
NICE.

ladies night!

they took time off from work rest study to make my 21st a memorable one.
i feel blessed,
my heart weighed like gold,
touched.
i had every reason to smile :)

my generous friends.
students are poor,
yet these expensive gifts.

canon ixus 120,
i love it.
great for people of buay steady hands (me).
and deb went around to look for shareholders.
it wasn't an easy job,
thank you for spending the time and efforts,
this camera is my baby.
thank you to those who contributed.

best friend's on the left.
haha he chose a pink pouch initially.
PINK pouch is..
ha so i ended up choosing my own.
this wallet is my baby :)

best gf's on the right.
miracle perfume,
personalized!
SC formed by swarovski crystals.
thank you.

from the family.
inherited one of my dad's price possesion.
mechanical watch is damn cool,
ticking sound,
NICE!

STEPHANIE CHIANG YUYI would be without raincoat (duno why i always think yuyi is umbrella) if wasn't for all the awesome people in her life. no fear for rainy days :D

thank you for all the gifts, cards, treats and wishes.
appreciate them alot,
it's a once in a lifetime,
most memorable time of my life.
dearest friends, i LOVE you all deep deep deep deeeeeeep ah.

i feel like a queen this month.
this treatment is awesome!
even the most depressing kid can become a saint.
imagine every month is my 21st..
shiokkkk.
hurhurhur.
okay daydream over,
back to farmer's life.
work hard, reaping what you sow.
c'mon HD HD HD.

i love the loves that i love
wooohoohooo

time

2010-04-12T21:45:00.003+08:00

woman's 20th birthday,
lunch at fish & co.

my 21st pre-celebration with dad,
dinner at jack's place.

one word, FAT.
i need to exercise.

being away from books for even awhile makes me feel so insecure.
seems like a new love, can't spend a sec away from each other.
i need to study.

yet sleep overpowered all the needs :(

his retirement plan,
my career plan,
set me thinking real deep.

listen to the ticking of mechanical watch;
time waits for nobody indeed.

timbre

2010-04-11T18:08:00.003+08:00

timbre with ACCA brothers was nice :)
so nice of them to celebrate my 21st, not knowing the exact date.
ha i shall forgive on the account of dedicating bad romance to me, even though the vocalist only went "rara ra ah ah".
how i wish there's really a live band who can finish the whole song, it would be damn cool!

and we forgot a group photo :(

just some thoughts.
the last thing I'll ever want is to get involved in people's relationship.
to my friends, I'll be there to provide a listening ear and a couple of neutral advice.
at the end of the day, it's still your choice and i trust that you will make the right one.
ups and downs are common in a relationship.
when you are in doubt, think again, about what you used to strongly believe.

AWESOME

2010-04-08T10:00:00.007+08:00

It was an amazing WEDNESDAY which happens to be the last day of school!

Started off all hilarious with one of my classmates tapping her ezlink for attendance, and a very awesome PM lecturer! Class with usual jokes acted out with Manfred's (he doesn't look like a Manfred at all!) serious face and funny gestures - "their heads spinned like don't know what", "cannot ban cars, but they can ban cigarettes, limit smokers to CCK or something", seriously need to be there to know how funny he is! ha and somehow he reminds me of one of the brothers in RELC, rodney!

Went to the com lab after class to get some stuff printed and saw a girl lost control, scolding her project mates, slamming the door and everything. It's public, it's school my dear. tskk not to mention how haughty she seemed - "luckily i'm smart enough". goshh.. disgusted max!

AND THE HIGHLIGHT OF 7TH APRIL 2010 is neither of the above.

A surprise from my classmates to pre-celebrate my 21st! After more than 12 hours, I'm still awed by the fact that they managed to trick me all the way to town. Possibilities were aplenty, we could have ended up having lunch in NP instead. Haha but somehow they are too smart, all the convincing and lies. NICE!

Yes, I'm so touched. Please bare with me for being naggy. A heartfelt thank you to the lovely classmates. Introducing Ming Feng, Seejin, Sharon, Tiffany and Zhihui :)

Shall post yesterday's photo when I get them, for the time being, MF's 21st.

Can't thank them enough, and so a very long note I wrote. For the first time, words are so full in the mouth but I can't regurgitate all without drowning anyone. Yes SJ, haha you are right, touched makes one naggy.

Dearest classmates,

Thank you so much for the awesome surprise! It was a really well designed plan. Bet if I didn't watch 'lie to me', I'll be totally fooled all the way! I'm no expert at writing a thank you note, but I really want you girls to know how much I appreciate for everything that had happened today. Every single piece placed a huge smile on my face :)

Ming Feng,
Thank you for tricking me and helping me carry my stuff! So paiseh ah, like as if you are my boyfriend. Haha and it's so funny that you were surprised by their sudden appearance. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW! LOL. Not bad ahhh, best actress already. The surprised look on your face seemed so real you know! Ha and I really believed the answer to why you didn't ask the rest. tskkk.

Seejin,
Thank you my dear friend since poly 1. Ha I know how hard it was for you to lie! Damn difficult to express how I feel about it. Flashbacks of you on the phone talking to ZH and Sharon, at Mitzu and trying to catch up to MF's pace make me crack and laugh but at the same time feel so touched deep down.

Sharon,
Thank you for coming down all the way even though it's ur school-free day! I WAS STUNNED WHEN YOU CAME TO SIT BESIDE ME; my mind went "HOO WTH!". Also, the cake you got was wooolala, wonderful, perfect, amazing, super nice, SHIOK.. chocolate, my favourite! :)

Tiffany,
Thank you for the pleasant morning! The ezlink tap was on purpose right? Hahah it worked so well, made my day started so bright, cheery and everything :))) ! OHHHH and I know you don't karaoke, but you actually did it. Thank you!

Zhihui,
LOL did you actually intro me 'lie to me' to hint about today? Ahhh, I'm still quite a loser on that, but I'm damn happy that I got it right reading SJ! Haha it was quite an easy one, but nevertheless, an improvement ah.I'll master nonverbal communication one day, ONE DAY. Teach me! Nice surprise, thanks many!

MF, SJ, Sharon, Tiff and ZH, you girls are TOTALLY AWESOME. Thanks for the ambush, the cake, the birthday song, the joy, the surprise, the smiles, the company, and the list can go on and on and on. You all are classmates and friends more than one can ever wish for! Exams are so near and today is a precious day that I know we all could have used to study. To me, today is DEFINITELY no doubt worthwhile to get away from the books. I hope you all enjoyed it too :) I'm so touched that you all took time off to celebrate my 21st. My first celebration, cake and surprise is a truly memorable one. 'Thank you' are many here and I would say many more, but this supposedly short note is getting long and naggy.

So here I shall end off, with my last thank you, and also STUDY WELL AND SMART for exams! Let's ace this! Especially MF ah, stop procrastinating! I'm just two MRT stops away, study together! In fact, we all should study together, our group dynamics is damn damn great!

LOVE YOU GIRLS, NICE VIDEO!

Cheers,
Steph

Truly, more than one can wished for. Happiness so oblivious, yet I missed them out. How dumb I was to selfishly indulge in thinking of all that is unfortunate. Life is good, don't read in too deep, simple happiness :)

2010-04-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

thank god it's not that bad afterall.
not so bad after the sake,
alcohol and socializing fit perfectly.

ohwell,
end of show.

and i received good news,
true joy!
NICE

2010-04-06T18:22:00.001+08:00

:(

...
3..
2..
1..

action

:)

2010-04-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

hate that uncomfortable feeling,
but why so??

invasion

2010-04-03T20:21:00.003+08:00

like a fugitive.
run, hide,
just so that i can skip acting and hide that disgust and detest looks.

footsteps tell me when to run.
lights tell me when to hide.

i hide today, tonight.
what about tmr?

FML

run

2010-03-30T20:22:00.001+08:00

a roof over head does not constitute a home.
so alien, the place that ceased to exist for more than a decade.
her very nice replies, my very cramped face :)
it is a joke it is.

if i can, i would.

grumpy :(

2010-03-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

maybe subconsciously i've rejected her.
everything she says is a huge turnoff.
glad it'll be home alone for a week,
time off from each other to smooth out irritation.

then again,
home alone :(

mini space filled with empty empty

2010-03-25T12:08:00.005+08:00

suddenly i miss my brother.
not that one, that one.
if it wasn't because of all the bad influences.
okay nvm,
99% reading this would probably not understand.

i was watching flashpoint

DONNIE YEN,
unbeatable idol of mine.
the way he fights,
NICE :)
that jump, that kick, and those punches!
goshhhh if only he's 25.

misses, much misses, loads misses.
drowned by tons n tons of them.
you him her them, all.

weekend lohhhh

2010-03-24T14:00:00.003+08:00

randomly

"人生自古谁无死
有谁大便不用纸
如果大便不用纸
为何发明大便纸" - team DPS

came to my head

early weekend :)

sleepy bug

KO

2010-03-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

hitting guinness record.
would whine to the max but i'm no longer a kid :(
oh well, let me whine a little then.
HURRRRR BODY ACHES FEVER AND COLD

goodnight

food, my love.

2010-03-21T19:48:00.011+08:00

A classic example of sex-deprived man.
some random guy who added me on MSN,
a friend of my old clique.

either that or he could not find any other topic to start off the conversation.
whichever, a turn off.
a "hi" or "hello how are you doing", how difficult is that?

yes, i'm being a bitch here, but you ruined my pretty Sunday.

and so, I only began to enjoy my Sunday during dinner time.
introducing little's india famous curry fish head!

my favourite man, with his eyes on the fish

Before

After

and with a fish swimming in a full stomach, i'm :)

i would love to open a club one day,
with a night only strictly for ladies,
no men.
all hot babes, NICE.
but of cuz, only if it's profitable.

bid goodbye to Sunday and say hello to Monday blues

believe

2010-03-20T12:17:00.003+08:00

Kbox is having this crazy promo,
$8 nett :)
lady gaga's bad romance again.
reminded me of my crazy girl.
2 weeks 3 days and still counting,
i need to see her,
i want to know how she is doing.
maybe some kind soul will kidnap her soon and bring her to me.

back to loyang to pray because i'm at my wits end.
upstairs is the only one who can help..

a free thinker, a believer, not a devotee.
going to the temple only when i'm troubled.
but best friend says it's okay so long as i believe.
i believe..

friends are those who you know you can turn to when you need help.
a pillar of support;
hotline 24/7 operating to provide sincere assistance.
the few soul mates,
thank you.

awesome awesome,
i'm feeling so much better already.
murderous mood that was out to kill,
gone :)

dearest drama queens and kings,
stop your acting for a moment
so that your audience can take a breather

hating how fragile life is

2010-03-17T10:25:00.004+08:00

freezing to death,
faint spells and swollen eyes.
they say it's anemia,
i think it's some weird virus that mum passed to me.

i missed 3 days of school.
in deep shit, shit.
especially yesterday's class,
my favorite module and lecturer of the semester :(

while i experience this small illness,
gf faces something so bad that it could be life threatening.
even if i'm forgotten,
as long as she's safe,
good enough.

makes me wana tear,
get well soon my dear.

#1 complaint queen

2010-03-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

hot and cold,
drenched in sweat but still snugger under the blanket
for more than 20hrs.

slept for so long and awake now at such weird hours
and haze is back with killer headaches.

at a lost of what to do now

jaded

2010-03-15T08:19:00.002+08:00

haze,
pollution,
this world is sick;
i'm sick.

it's the worst ever murderous mood.

heavy

2010-03-14T07:39:00.007+08:00

burden, less heavy when shared.
then again,
how easy to find someone to share your thoughts with?

not many went through the same situation;
not many would understand.
and definitely,
not many able to help.

one day the load will be too heavy

carefree,
such a foreign word that i'd to dictionary.com to confirm it's meaning.
worries and sadness accumulate and multiply as one ages,
that explains the wrinkles.

sometimes it's not as easy as it seems,
but they say it's okay to fall as long as you can get up.
bruise, pain, hurt.
get up..

life, life, life.
still trying to be positive,
still trying..

love laugh live, that's what we call life.
what an irony.

in a month's time

2010-03-13T22:48:00.007+08:00

finally got my hair dyed

goodbye weird half black half faded brown hair.

the famous easy to dye hair dye

and hello to, somewhat similar shade of faded brown,
except it spread to the whole head.
!@#$%^&*()
haha it's not as shine as i'd wanted.
guess i'm stuck to dark hair.
ohwell..

anyway anyway,
was working today, will be tmr.
carrom, childhood memories.
nice :)

my birthday will be in a month's time.
can i use it as an excuse to meet up with long-time-no-see people?
wana take lots of photos for keepsake.

and also actual birthday on 14th april.
it's wed,
and i know some people may wana kill me for saying,
let's club hop in clark quay! --- obviously, applicable to girls only.

not done.
also also, spend a day + night at sentosa,
universal studio!
on maybe 13th?

appreciate :)
i'll treat dinner to my loves,
and they should know who they are,
i think.
forgive me for my limited budget for i'm saving up for an important trip!

21st birthday's hope,
friends' love.

karaokeeeee

2010-03-12T22:39:00.002+08:00

was at popular when this song plays

ha du de wei's expression is kind of hilarious.
anyway, it reminded me of dylan singing this at 10 dollar ktv.

KTVvvvvvvv!
back to listening to chinese music,
strong desire to sing.
next week i hope :)

worried about that kuku,
how difficult is it to head to a polyclinic :(

through time we'll find

2010-03-12T12:08:00.009+08:00

young love,
fast and furious;
crashes at the end of the day.

mature love,
slow and steady;
nurtured through time,
a tonic to life.

one day, one heart will find the other :)

anybody to lend me a camera for the month of april?
i'll say the magic word - pleaseeee!

dramatic it may sound, it's true

2010-03-11T16:35:00.007+08:00

it was the longest night ever.
she braved through; she barely could.
it ended, pouring huge.
finally,
she fell.
all the hurt and pain came crashing.
sitting on the stairs,
she stared at her phone with vision so blurred - covered with tears and blinded by pain.
suffocating; with the little strength left,
she called the only person who came to her mind.
she thought she will never make it home,
but that call made her do so.

she was home; made it through.
the person over the phone will never understand how much it meant to her.

source: imgfave.com

don't leave

it rained, burnt, hazed.

2010-03-10T20:12:00.003+08:00

weather is crazy,
and the lack of oxygen makes me really tired.
hiking to almost 15hrs of sleep already.

those who are falling sick,
please take good care of yourself.
consult a doctor if you are not feeling well,
and do it soon before the condition exaggerates,
when it's cheaper and easier to cure now.

i care; i'm worried,
and we can only hang out when you are better.

in the noon-evening-early night nap,
i dreamt so much.
if only those are real..
there will be a 32-inch flat screen tv in my room,
good meal with family,
and also..

no wonder they say dreams are always the opposite of reality.
ah damn it,
why didn't i dream of the opposite.

another night of haze

my weekend is here!

2010-03-09T19:45:00.002+08:00

when organizational theory applies to life also..

enacted environment;
life is only complicated if you think it is.
and because this society thinks life is full of complexities,
it became so.

ignore complexities and judgment.
retards don't care about this world, that's why they have lesser worries and are happier.
and so, there's only a few things that could affect me now,
particularly, studies, close friends and family.
others, i will choose to ignore.
certain issues don't matter to me now.
what will be, will be.
and if that day ever comes,
it will be in my important list,
but no, not now.

love,
really confusing for me indeed.
that's why i choose to love the limited important things in life,
studies not so much though.

unpredictable destiny.
lower expectations, greater satisfaction.

"trust me. U won't get disappointed if u lower ur expectation in terms of
a) finding the right partner (u can never find someone who is perfect)
b) the best job ( just be thankful u have something that pays ur bill)
c) life (Just waking up in the morning is a blessing)" - guru hakeem

and mistakes will be forgiven in a matter of time.

words,
always easier said than done.
still in the process of trying,
but i really do find myself happier.

oh freak, i'm so addicted to OT.
definitely nothing to do with the lecturer,
though he looks rather well built and pleasant looking :)))

monday without blues

2010-03-08T20:31:00.006+08:00

i was reading, just reading.
okay, plus reflecting.

source: Foo, Y.H. 2010, 'A date with destiny', NSMAN, pp. 13-14.

"Many singles indulge in the dating scene only to become jaded and disillusioned when things fail to work out. As such, they are resigned to be alone and are happy to meet new people for outings"

woah, a dart right through the heart!

"know what you want; variety is the spice; give and take"

"after you have decided what you want in a relationship, take a closer look at yourself and reflect on whether you are worth the expectations you placed on others. from here, adjust your wants accordingly and you can begin dating with an OPEN MIND"

nice, agree, i like :)
variety + open mind = open relationship?
nahh.. singapore is too conservative.
then again,
why bother about judgments.
most importantly is to be fair,
to the other party and your own conscience.

know what you want..
>180cm, 6 packs and cute smile,

found!
haha in my dreams though.

guess i'll stick to being single,
thinking what i really want,
and hope eclipse will be on screen soon,
before i'm bored of twilight and new moon.

individual assignments cleared!
left group project and exams now.
and damn it damn it,
SIM admin sucks, MAX.
no response for the damn exemption,
pissed!

did some huge land burnt or something,
what's with the haze?
guess it's no way i can jog tonight :(

just a random note

2010-03-07T10:56:00.004+08:00

aint a part-time friend;
only when you are in trouble / need or bored you find me,
all other times MIA.
once yes, twice ok, third bye. (the count resets on a random basis)
not to mention, all the wasted help we gave.
pek chek you know.

i really hate it when people starts conversation this way
"chat with me leh.. very bored"
there's online chatting services you know,
for really bored people.
and for god's sake,
I don't provide such service.

P.S. I tend to neglect people when I'm busy with studies. I don't ignore; I neglect (ha sounds lesser, though as bad). ohwell.. please understand :) SIM fees are really expensive!

:)

2010-03-06T16:43:00.006+08:00

i'm losing my multi-tasking skill.
i used to be able to concentrate on many events at one go,
but now, could barely focus on even one.

wed was too crazy and high that I lost my friends practically the whole night

TO deb grace wen,
sorry for my disappearance 90% of the time, i'm glad you girls had great fun :)
this pic resembles one we took in vivo before.
friends since sec sch and counting,
i'm glad for the company,
all the crazy times we had,
be it at minds, wii or club.

TO mich,
sorry for my disappearance 70% of the time, i know you'd fun too! :)

TO aloy,
thanks for finding the drunk birthday boy!

guess it's partially my fault that birthday boy MIA-ed all the way till 3am.
left him dead at VIP while going to the toilet with Demi,
MIA-ed by the time we remembered him,
thank god he's in one piece.
and I couldn't stop laughing and teasing him when he was found!
haha seriously non-stop kind,
dead dead, karma...

ha and really randomly,
I was with Demi the whole time,
Mich's friend whom I only met once.
seriously random that I was with her the whole time.
But it was fun and she's really nice and pretty :)

two days school week next week,
how nice of RMIT to finally give us a break :)

insomnia - the state of not really asleep nor awake

warning: could bore some of you

2010-03-02T18:07:00.004+08:00

chanced upon this video in facebook

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

source: harvardmagazine.com

the fear of failure leads one no where;
failure means stripping away of the inessential.

it's time to learn to pick myself up faster,
and stop dreaming about what could have been.
learn from setbacks.

also, put away my ego and pride.
acknowledge the defects and make necessary changes.
and i'm always grateful to have the few honest friends,
who I'll treasure for life.

true enough,
the world is selfish.
everyone is, just of different degree.
but be unselfish,
especially to friends and those less privileged.
make this one and only life be meaningful,
find happiness in giving.

okay, enough of philosophy.

went for a haircut in the noon,
finally decided to,
after pestering sj and zh so many days for opinions.
for a $13 haircut,
I got mountains of advice.
the first thing she asked was
"are you on diet?"
and she started saying about imbalanced diet and unhealthy hair.
okay, that explains my hair loss :(

ohh and SIM's 70c iced coffee is really good.
anyway, what I really want to drive at is that,
the good things in life are cheap
and the best things in life are free!
(as sang in Cry On My Shoulder)

smile cuz tmr is wed :)

dead on bed

2010-03-01T15:42:00.003+08:00

shopping and gambling,
in a blink of an eye,
goodbye weekends,
goodbye cny.

when I thought I'll be facing monday blues,
I'm down with flu and thus didn't go school.

body aching like crazy,
must be the over-sneezing.

assignment 2 in slow progress

ah piao

2010-02-26T00:36:00.006+08:00

no more joggings late LATE late at night!
not funny when the cat calls out for no reason,
not when it's the usual cat which usually ignores.

if it's a pervert I may stand a chance to whack his head;
if it's a flasher I'll just laugh at him and run away;
if it's ah piao.. think I'll just faint / die and that's it.

mum's flying off tomorrow,
and to think I was really happy at first.
now I'm worried :(
hoping saturday night's plan goes on well.

source: www.gothereguide.com

16th May the great escape, affirmative.

even for a 10% I'll fight hard,
cuz i don't want to regret anymore.

fairytale no longer in my dictionary;
dreams don't just drop from sky,
earn your dreams.

says who

2010-02-22T22:51:00.004+08:00

picture of the day, year, decade

& best friend's way of saying being down to earth

last but not least,
SIM admin sucks,
and I feel like murdering the loser who refused to let us apply for exemptions.
now i'm studying for a test which I don't have to.
the feeling,
sucks :(

I'll still feel the same way after saying it a hundred times.

another weekend

2010-02-21T23:20:00.003+08:00

saturday :)

visited ms quah's place,
was expecting more people though.

xiaowei's baby's 1st month,
her baby is really adorable,
silent mode all the way :)

7th day of the CNY,
family dinner and more gambling.
homecooked food is simply the best,
better than expensive meals.

and today i'm down with flu again,
this sucks.

time to smile

2010-02-19T16:39:00.006+08:00

look at yourself and those who are less fortunate.
Now, what's there to be unhappy about?
the half-glass full theory does make much sense.
Perspectives, how you see your life as.
Feeling broken or whatsoever,
everyone sure have their fair share of sad stories,
no such thing as a perfect life.
What makes a happy person stands out is how fast he recovers from those incidents and not let them pull him down.

It's time, taking long enough.
for goodness sake,
FORGET!
"how suitable", tell me that's a piece of shit.
fairytale night, rubbish.
hurt and humiliation crap.

observed how fortunate and unhappy one is,
that's sad.

anyway,
SIM sure has a retarded attendance taking policy

ha and it does feel funny tapping 10 cards.

time to smile :)

never understand

2010-02-18T13:53:00.004+08:00

it was sunny, hot, windy, rainy, cold, sunny and windy.
guess up there is feeling more conflicted than I do.

every time I see those egg tarts I would want to get some,
but I know it'd take a hundred years to be eaten.
too different to understand,
and I'm losing patience,
guess it's time's up.

once again,
nothing is as impt as school,
blahhh blahh.
finally done with another 2000 words,
2 tests up next :(

weekends gonna be awesome though :)

aftermath

2010-02-16T19:22:00.005+08:00

crazy amount of cny goodies went into my stomach,
too late to feel guilty,
one piece of bak kwa takes 4km run to burn all calories.
hah think i'll need to run around singapore already.

angbaos of double dosage!
dream on,
half belongs to my bro.

it was fun gambling yesterday.
my cousins are really awesome :)
it's amazing how fast we've grown up,
seems like only yesterday we were running around the playground playing catching.

lime tastes sour to most people, but not me.
like many other things, it's subjective, so why bother.

need synergy

2010-02-15T00:36:00.009+08:00

they tried to make her happy, smile and everything.
she knows, but she couldn't.
but she really knows and is very grateful.

an extra angbao,
top up in that account,
gf time even with toothache,
i feel the love this valentine.

thought it through,
now a clearer picture of wants and goals.

ha enjoying telling my decade friend how guys are becoming more retarded,
cuz he's king of the kings.
how fun.

visiting alone sucks,
tmr agn.
get it done and over with.

mj love

2010-02-14T17:09:00.003+08:00

the many lessons learnt in a game of mj,
one of which,
never wait for a single tile too long.

ohhh the touch of those tiles just revived the addiction!
then again, so much sch work to do. :(

huat ah! :)

it's CNY and valentine's day :)

2010-02-14T00:10:00.005+08:00

for many, today is a double joy with the clash of CNY and Valentine's day.

to those without a valentine,
be very happy.
today will be one great day to gamble,
because there's this saying about love luck and gambling luck being inversely related :)

to those with a valentine,
good for you,
cuddle the loves and angbaos :)

to those with valentines,
overdosage may kill.

this is a very retarded post because yours truly start off the new year doing referencing.

anyway, it was reunion dinner at intercon.
over-ate, but it doesn't matter,
this is one of the trademark of CNY.

wishing everyone a happy CNY with many angbaos and valentine's day with many loves

asylum here

2010-02-13T01:54:00.002+08:00

those words went on repeat mode in my head.
after hours I still can't get the rationale of her telling me all these.

so now what,
all men are dirt and cheap?
that they deserve to get cheated of their money,
or that I should be a lesbian,
or I should start figuring out what people wants from me,
and be wary of others.

everything that I've been trying so hard to deny,
believing that someone will prove me wrong,
all came back to square 1.

the world is so ugly,
or it's just the ppl losing faith in it.

shut from these thoughts,
cuz I don't have to waste my brain cells figuring out.
but i hope that i'll see the light soon.
happiness seems so near yet so far.